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It appears to me that director Sofia Coppola doesn’t like to have too much happening in her movies. This can be a good thing sometimes (I guess) but it is definitely not the case with The Bling Ring.

The Bling Ring. That was the media-friendly name given to a gang of thieves who robbed the homes of celebrities. The unique thing about this gang was that they weren’t motivated by economic necessity. These were thrill-seeking, fame-obsessed, bauble-coveting young people–at least the way they are protrayed in this movie–who broke into the homes of celebrities and made off with their clothes, shoes, jewelry, and sometimes money. That’s right, this is a movie ‘Based on Actual Events’.

Like, Oh M’Gawd!

Where does one start, while talking about a vacuous empty movie about vacuous empty people? This is a movie that begins with a heist, goes back in time to show how Marc (Israel Broussard) was befriended by Rebecca (Katie Chang) when he was the new kid at school. Soon enough she’s taking him on her little ‘adventures’ which involves stealing unlocked cars and breaking into celebrity homes.

Along the way they pick up other members also obsessed with celebrity culture including Nicki (Emma Watson) and Sam (Taissa Farmiga) and keep walking into people’s homes and taking their stuff.

And that is pretty much the largest chunk of the movie.

The kids break in, they try on stuff, they take some stuff, they leave. They party, they do some drugs, they hang out. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Come on Ms. Coppola. This is a movie! Stuff is supposed to happen! And it would be nice if we could have a single character we could sympathize with.

Final Analysis: Broussard and Chang are pretty convincing in their roles. And there’s some cool music on the soundtrack. But that is it. And it really sucks that this is late cinematographer Harris Savides’s final movie.

My Advice: If you really, truly must watch a movie in which young people do stupid, dangerous things out of boredom, watch Spring Breakers instead. If you’ve already watched that one, go out and get some air. Visit a park. Do anything else.