So is Snow White and the Huntsman any good?

I have never watched a single movie in the Twilight series. I was not a big fan of Thor so I had zero interest in Snow White and the Huntsman. And then the first trailer came out and I was blown away. It looked like an action-heavy, desaturated imagery-filled re-imagining of the fairy tale. And I was hooked.

Big mistake.

Kristen Stewart plays Snow White as a sullen but hopeful young woman who has spent a large portion of her life trapped in a tower by Ravenna (Charlize Theron) the evil witch who becomes her step-mother, kills Snow White’s father and rules the kingdom with a despotic touch.

Chris Hemsworth (channeling a younger Brad Pitt) is the heart-broken huntsman who is entrusted with the duty of finding Snow White and returning her to the queen alive, after she breaks out of the prison.

The dwarves make an appearance, as does some version of Prince Charming, and there is a lot of glowering, posturing, staring, smirking and frowning on the parts of all the principal players.

I get it. Things don’t always pan out the way they were envisioned going into a project. To my mind, one of the best ways to reduce the fallout is to Make. The. Darned. Thing. Shorter.

This has been said before but it bears repeating: Nobody has ever complained about a movie being too short. The Swedish pop band Roxette had a greatest hits compilation entitled Don’t Bore Us, Get To The Chorus.

I am aware that the chorus, in the case of Snow White and the Huntsman is Charlize Theron’s surprisingly hammy acting. Seriously, what was that? It felt like high school dramatics. Between that, the too-slow dialogue delivery and confusing chemistry between the lead pair, I was just waiting for the movie to end.

This marks one of the first times in recent memory that I have been fooled by a trailer. So the promos department on this movie has done a masterful job. Perhaps they should have advised on the final cut of the movie as well.

Elvis

Independent filmmaker and screenwriter.