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To truly appreciate a scene of pure vehicular warfare that occurs pretty early on in A Good Day To Die Hard you have to watch the video embedded below. All of that footage has apparently been culled from dashboard-mounted camera footage inside various cars. I have not driven all around India but I have to say this looks a lot scarier than anything I’ve experienced on Mumbai’s roads.

So yeah, a fifth Die Hard movie. Did we really need one? Didn’t the last one pretty much destroy the franchise?

I guess not.

In a world where James Bond goes all touchy-feely (to a billion dollar worldwide gross no less) I suppose it makes sense to put John McClane (Bruce Willis) in a series of hairy situations with his estranged son John McClane Jr. (Jai Courtney) so that they can resolve their familial issues while shooting guns and blowing stuff up. Neat huh?

Ehhh…

This is how the story goes: John thinks Junior is in trouble so he hops a flight to Russia to…I don’t know Yippee Ki-Yay on Mother Russia. Junior in the meantime is getting arrested, escaping a courthouse, and taking a prisoner with him. The prisoner, a man named Komarov (Sebastian Koch), has access to a file that could prevent a certain bad news Russian from taking power. Junior happens to be CIA and he is working to get Komarov out of Russia so that the CIA can use the file to…yeah I don’t know. Something.

But Komarov won’t leave without his daughter Irina (Yuliya Snigir, who looks like a hot Russian Coby Smulders) and that’s when things get ugly.

A Good Day To Die Hard is really not about story. Or plotting. Or logic. It is ninety-something minutes of ambitiously destructive action crossed with really bad dialogue. Gone is the witty repartee of the good episodes of this franchise (the original, and Die Hard with a Vengeance). Gone are the rising odds against the heroes.

Instead we get a couple of big booming action set pieces, a bad guy is killed in a manner reminiscent of the original Die Hard, some of the CG-heavy action calls to mind shots from the Max Payne movie, and it is all very superficial and messy.

Final Analysis: The best thing about this movie, is that it is not very long.
My Advice: Wait for it on DVD. Or cable.