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Denzel Washington. Mark Wahlberg. A movie called 2 Guns by the director who made Contraband last year. What could go wrong, right?

You ever have that weird experience where you are watching a movie, and you need to stop it at a certain point: bathroom break, you’re hungry, important phone call, time for dinner…whatever, and when you restart the movie it feels like somebody went in there and changed the movie?

Of course you do!

2 Guns is that kind of movie.

It starts out with the correct amounts of swagger. Washington is cool as Bobby B, Wahlberg is goofy-cool as Michael Stig, they banter and josh around while planning to rob a sleepy little bank across from a sleepy little diner in a nowhere town.

First surprise: turns out the bank is holding over ten times more cash than they expected to score from the job. Suddenly a mysterious creepy dude (played by Bill Paxton) is on their tail. And here’s the kicker: Bobby and Stig are both undercover. Gasp!

Stig is a naval intelligence officer and Bobby is an undercover DEA agent. And because Denzel is just so cool, he’s also sleeping with a co-worker (Paula Patton) who just so happens to have a boyfriend.

Throw in Edward James Olmos as a Mexican cartel boss, James Marsden as Stig’s superior officer and you’ve got the beginnings of several Huh?-What!-Why!? complications.

At a very specific point in the narrative, the filmmakers (or maybe it was the writers of the comic book that this movie is based on—I don’t know) introduced one more twist in the tale, and threw the whole narrative completely out of whack. From that point on audience immersion becomes audience confusion. And this movie spirals into a series of gunfire-laced clichés.

Final Analysis: Could have been a cool little action movie. Now it’s just something to help pass the time during an insomnia attack, or on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

My Advice: Definitely not necessary to go see this on the big screen.